A Work in Progress
Like many people, I started yet another weight loss journey at the beginning of this year in an attempt to finally get a handle on this ridiculous fucking situation I’ve been struggling with my entire life. Over the last five years I’ve lost about 50 lbs, which is great and all, but over the last couple years I’ve lost and gained the same 20 frickin pounds god knows how many times. I’m so fed up. I’m so ready to do the work that I need to in order to heal my relationship with food.
I’ve tried doing the whole calorie counting, food tracking, micro and macro planning thing with the hardcore workouts. I’ve never lost weight that way. Never. Because at the end of the day, I still have a fucked up relationship with food. I need to rid myself of the idea that there are ‘good’ and ‘bad’ foods. I need to relearn how to listen to my body and what it wants and needs.
As far as working out, I’m trying to do things I enjoy doing. I love to run. My oldest son, Jackson, and I are training together to do a 5k in May. So we run 2-3 times a week together. I’m going back to kickboxing next week because yea, I like to hit stuff. I’m focusing on doing things that give me the endorphin rush and make me feel good about my body.
So I’ve been working on that the last couple of weeks and I’m down 7lbs already. That’s beyond exciting to me, since I generally have to fight tooth and nail for each damn pound. It’s all been as simple as eating only when I’m hungry and stopping as soon as I’m satisfied. Not full, mind you, just comfortably satisfied.
I’m definitely working on having more fruits and veggies, whole grains and lean protein, as well as lots of water, but not because it’s ‘healthy’. More just to get away from consuming sugary, chemically, processed garbage. I don’t like how it makes me feel and I don’t like what it does to my skin. But the beauty is, if I want to go for a greasy burger at the pub once in a while, I can do it without guilt or fear of ‘falling off my diet’.
I guess that’s about it for my first weekly post of A Work in Progress. I’m not quite brave enough to post my before pics. Once I start to see some big changes there, I’ll grow a set and post them.