Adding positivity instead of subtracting negativity
I have spent a good portion of my life attempting to get rid of bad habits and restrict myself from certain activities or behaviors in order to get closer to being the person I want to be. Until recently, the majority of these attempts have been unsuccessful and for the life of me, I could never figure out why. I figured it was because I wasn’t strong enough or I didn’t have enough will power or because I was just too lazy. Recently, though, it occurred to me that it was because I was spending so much time focusing on subtracting negative instead of adding positive. positivity
I kind of feel like I’ve discovered the Holy Grail of self-development and self-discipline. And I feel kind of silly that it turned out to be so very simple. But it is. The bottom line is, if all a person focuses their energy and attention on is negative stuff, even if it’s in order to get it out of their life, then all they’re going to attract is more negative. Think of it this way…when your parents told you that under no circumstances were you to touch the pie that was in the fridge, what is the one and only thing you wanted to do? TOUCH THE FREAKING PIE, OH MY GOD I HAVE TO HAVE THE PIE, GIVE ME THE PIE RIGHT NOW!!!! True story. Generally when you spend your time trying not to do something, eat something, talk to someone, go somewhere, that is the one and only thing you want to do.
So I decided that rather than try to subtract these things from my life I would put all my efforts into adding positive habits and behaviors. To the point where I have so many positive things going on that there just isn’t space anymore for the negative crap. The beauty of this little trick is that I don’t feel limited or restricted. I feel so good about all the positive stuff and I don’t care so much about the negative stuff that I just don’t have time/space for. It’s pretty incredible.
Give me an example, you say? Ok. Here’s a few. Instead of working so hard at not eating sweets, I focus on adding more vegetables and whole foods into my diet. Instead of trying not to watch so much tv, I focus on doing something active that I really enjoy that fills up time I would normally spend watching tv. Instead of attempting to stop the negative self talk, I look at saying lots of good things to myself so there’s no room for negative self talk.
I don’t put any rules or expectations on myself about the junk in my life that I don’t want anymore. I let it be. I don’t feel guilty for it. And then I feel like I can slowly but surely let it go and make room for this other good stuff.