Defining moments

Have you ever had one of those moments where you just know that depending on which way you go, which path you take, it will forever change the course of your life? At one time I believed these moments were loud, exciting, adrenalin inducing moments. And I suppose some can be. But a lot of them are just regular, mundane kind of moments. I had just such a moment last night.It was one of those rare times where I could look at 2 different choices and see very clearly, exactly where each choice would take me,

Last week, on Thursday, I went to my first ever rugby practice. I’d never played before, never even watched before. But I’d been looking at getting into a team sport of some kind because, as much as I love my solo activities like running, the fact is that I need to get out and meet people and expand my network. My business kinda sorta depends on it, and I’m training for the Tough Mudder in Whistler this June with my team from Xango and need to get back into that team mindset. Plus, though I’m training at the gym, I’m not pushing myself hard enough and being on a rugby team is very much like hiring a team of personal trainers.

So I went to this rugby practice, their first of the new year. I played, I ran, I sweated, I very nearly threw up. And I had fun. My god, did I ever have fun! The physical challenge, the running around like a kid again, the working together as a team for a common goal, the encouraging and cheering each other on…it was so much freaking fun! And boy was I sore the next day, holy crap.

I spent the next 4 days being sore. Not regular workout sore, but almost crying when you laugh, breath, sit down to pee, get out of bed sore. It was brutal. Then my knees started to hurt. And on the next day of practice, which was yesterday, I went through the warm up exercises with the team and wouldn’t you know it, I pulled not one, but two muscles. One in each leg. So not only did I have to miss out on the rest of practice, I had to face the humiliation of leaving early because I am just so out of shape that I couldn’t finish my second ever practice.

I drove to the drugstore and got the strongest muscle relaxant I could find then headed home, eyes blurry with tears of frustration, pain, and anger at myself. Which is when I faced my defining moment. As far as I could see I had two choices. First, I could quit rugby and drop out of the Tough Mudder, continue working on losing weight and getting in shape and then try again next year. Or I could give my legs time to heal, continue going to the gym doing swimming and other low-impact exercises, and get back to practice as soon as my body is ready.

This was the moment where I could see, vividly, what life would look like for me depending on which direction I chose. I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I quit, gave up, or otherwise postponed my plans for rugby and the Tough Mudder I would be stuck in this yo-yo diet weight loss cycle forever. I would never find the strength to get where I needed to go. If, however, I kept pushing, kept working, kept fighting, I could visualize the leader I would become. I saw myself blowing everyone’s expectations of me out of the water, including my own. I saw myself having a powerful life changing story. I saw myself confident, strong, and unbeatable.

And so I made the decision. Limping around my kitchen, sniffling, hurting, I resolved that I would not be broken by this. I decided that this was the last time my weight would dictate what I can or cannot do in this life. I chose to move forward, try again, and fight back. I  apologized to my body for treating it like shit for so many years and promised to take care of it, protect it, move it, nourish it, and do everything in my power to keep it healthy.

This was one of the biggest defining moments I’ve ever had. One day when I’m fit and healthy, successful in my business, and a leader in my industry, I will look back and remember the moment I decided I was not going to live an average life, limited by my physical and mental weaknesses, but rather I was going to live an extraordinary, joyful, abundant life, limited only by my imagination.

If you need a bit of encouragement today, please watch this video. It’s a great reminder of what we are capable of:

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